March 13th, 2017

Will the pain ever go and the dreams ever stay? Every day I wish to never wake from those dreams, a life where the world around us is safe. Well, safer than it is now. A life with both my wife and daughter, together again. Dreams filled with being able to watch my baby girl grow. Though I know I have to stay strong it gets harder with every passing day, even if it’s been nearly nine months. I miss Claire so much. Geri needs me more then ever now. I try so hard to put on the brave face as her husband and best friend but watching her slip away is slowly killing me. I know she lost Claire too, and I’m just being selfish, but I wish she was here more. I can’t pull away or we will never make it in this new place and I can’t do it alone. We may have something going here finding the farmhouse but nothing anymore is for sure. After losing the sanctuary in Morro Bay, I don’t hold much hope for the world. Just can’t take that chance anymore, not after I failed the one job I had. Keeping my family safe and I wasn’t even able to do that. But I do hold a small piece of hope just for her, that one day the world will be safe enough to start over. Start a family. For now though I will try to focus on that fact I still have my wife and at least we have a little something. I’m not having the best luck hunting and scavenging so I went and got a job at the general store. I hope that I can make enough money to at least get food on the table a few nights a week. The weather is looking up and I can maybe start to plant the seeds I have left. That’s if we manage to make this place last long enough to harvest anything. Daylight is lasting a bit longer which is nice but at the same time it just keeps me from my dreams longer. I wait everyday for the sun to set just to see my little girl again.