That smile of mine was fake. Just like your compassion. I’m pretty sure in just a few words you taught me to hate you. But we still have to work together so I’ll just keep faking it. I really didn’t think you could honest to god be such a bastard about things.
Ah piss, who am I kidding, that’s like looking at the color red and saying “Oh… I don’t know, maybe it’s more a shade of pink.” I knew, that’s why I didn’t tell you about the baby. It’s fine, I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone. I’ll make it or I wont, and when the end comes… so what? At least I can look myself in the mirror and say that I tried for something more, that I didn’t just settle. For “Just a stupid kid” I’ve done a lot with my life.
Besides, it doesn’t belong to anyone but me anyways. My choice. M I N E.
If you ever read this, it’s because I’m dead, and I felt like you should know just how you made me feel, while I was feeling it. I used to always write in an online blog when I was a kid… always made me feel better. Hell writing just that made me feel a little better. I still hate you for saying what you said, but if you’ve even a hint of human left in that ugly face of yours… don’t let the kid ever read this. I know if push comes to shove, you’re going to do the right thing. You’d better do the right thing. I didn’t ask to get pregnant anymore than you asked to be a father. But I did choose to give the kid a chance, and I hope you’ll do the same.4