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Dear Emily,

I’m struggling to understand what it will mean to be a parent in this place. Yesterday I hacked a child to death with my tomahawk. Had I not done it, someone else would have, so I can’t say that I saved a life.
How do I reconcile this, killing people – infected or not – with the raising and care of a child?
But this is who we all have to be now. We have to kill and kill and kill, until they stop coming. I have to protect Thora, especially in the coming months. Will my child grow up seeing me this way, killing amd hacking people up? What will she think of me? How much of this can I endure before I go nuts?
I don’t have an answer and I wish you were here to help me. You were always so level headed. Hopefully Thora and I can keep that part of you alive.
As Ever,