Everything’s so messed up.. When Jet left, I wanted to go with her. She said this place was full of raiders and it was all going to shit. I thought Arklay was a place of prosperity, everyone’s been so generous? But then there’s the food shortages and this… wall of tension that’s coming up against the place. I don’t know how to describe it. It felt like I should leave too. But Jet said I should stay… I don’t know why. She said it wasn’t THAT bad but she couldn’t back-pedal on that one. Obviously Arklay is heading into a rut or something.

But then she gave a gun and it suddenly just… sorta made sense to me. I don’t know.

I think she was right about Arklay. It’s a hole. But I’m not going to leave like she did. I think she merely gave me perspective and helped me see ‘civilisation’ for what it was, what it is. I don’t trust this town anymore. I feel like a hypocrite for having a job and the fact I rent an apartment now doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not… it won’t last.

And when I think of my friends, trying so hard to keep Arklay decent like I was just days ago… It’s so worrying.

And then what I saw two days ago. That woman on the horse. She is exactly the reason cities and towns went to shit. Sure, the Infection sped the process, but anarchy is inevitable no matter what ingredients you throw in.

Now I’m not saying the Infection is a good thing. It’s fucking horrible. One came at me the other day and my arms are all torn up. I really need those seeing to actually…

Anyway, just thought it’d help me somehow if I scrawled my thoughts down. It kinda has. It makes me feel more resolute, even though I have no experience with a gun, no ammo and possess the physique of a stick insect.

Ha! At least I still have a sense of humour.