With all that’s been happening lately, I’m starting to feel as if I am trapped in a box. We aren’t supposed to be leaving the compound, and if we do, an Epsilon employee should accompany us. The threat of the dead is starting to become more real with each passing day, and I’m not sure how I should react to it all. One thing is certain, I should be very worried. Equipment in the lab is starting to act faulty, and we are no longer getting air drops sent to us. Our survival is no longer guaranteed…

Despite all that, I am feeling a bit better about one aspect in my life. After my last entry, I thought for sure I was going to take off my wedding ring. Worrying has brought me nothing but grief, and anxiety. It’s something I thought I couldn’t deal with, especially with security around the building getting tighter. Yet, I found comfort in talking with one of my fellow scientists in Deimos. Seems that he could relate to me in the uncertainty of where his own wife was or even if she was still alive. It was enlightening to hear his story, and a bit relieving to explain my own. The fellow doctor offered me some friendly advice to help keep my drive going. He also convinced me to keep the ring on… though likely not his intention!

I think the biggest thing I took from our conversation, besides that we scientists need to help one another when times are tough, was that I need to focus more on what the future will hold, and what I can do to make it better. Worrying about the past won’t change where I am now. Though I know this, I believe that hearing it from someone else made the statement more real to me. Elaine may be out there, and I will continue to hope she is and that she’s doing well. However, I need to focus on me and the people around me. I’m one of the few people in this area who can work, and maybe bring an end to the outbreak. I have to think on that, strive towards that goal, and work for a future where people aren’t separated from their loved ones due to the dead. If I look at things any other way, I’ll start to crumble under these security changes at Deimos. Though I may feel like I’m in a box, my mind must be free and hopeful that things will get better.

…Have to make the best of the situation!

              ~Peter Perkins