I am hungry, thirsty, and angry most of the time. Supplies are getting low and I always make sure my sister gets everything first… most of the time. This time I took something for myself, I took the love of another person. That’s right, surrounded by death and decay standing on the bridge throwing rocks into the water, Yama said the 3 words almost any girl covets “I love you”. With him I could forget my hunger, my pain, and admittedly even my fears.

No fear means stupidity!

I don’t want to be stupid… but I love falling in love… and I have to say, I do love Yama.

How can I do this? Be so selfish, here I am picturing a future when so many have been left without one…. I feel so guilty, conflicted might be a better word. I have a sister to take care of, and a job to do, and people to help and I am sitting in my room thinking about my first….second and…third kiss.

Okay Okay… onto other news.

I am considering starting a community garden, sis and I got the skills and a new arrival named Gideon was a farm had before everything went nuts. With time, and a load of patience we can have enough food for everyone, but that could end up causing more danger than anything. When you have something so wanted and needed it can drag in the crazies… Heck I learned my girly-bits are on that list of “will kill for”. The world is a sick place… maybe it always has been, but if I get my way we will at least have a beautiful garden… and love, now I sound like a hippie. Haha!

I was also thinking that people here in Arklay need an outlet… aside from the not trying to die everyday and searching for food and water constantly. SOMETHING that would make everyone smile… give them a bit of hope in such a dark time… something to dream about… in this endless nightmare of flesh eating dead people, dying loved ones, and that ever annoying ache of hunger in the belly.

What is that man doing to me….?