I’m starting to think that those people who actually write in journals everyday have no life. I mean seriously, who has time to write in these things?  I have no fucking idea when was the last time I was able to do this. I’ve been running so much, trying to survive, trying to live that I hardly even thought about writing in this thing. But as with last time, a lot has happened. I got that promotion, but things changed and my boss went MIA. The rest of the officers kinda disbanded and went their own way and I was left with no job. I started to help out Eric and his girl Gensa at this business she established. The Arklay Trading Co. They lead these groups on scavenge runs and provide what they find to the community. I went on a few rns and I like it. it feels good to be able to help. Also another change in my life, I had my first girlfriend. Yes, first girlfriend. I’m not a loser or something, a 27 year old man who’s never had a girlfriend. I could have had a girlfriend if I wanted one before, I was just picky. Who the hell am I joking? I was a fucking whore.  I didn’t see the whole ideal of settling down with just the same brown M&M every night. It’s stupid. I mean, what if I wanted a fucking blue M&M every now and then? A guy’s got to have his variety.

Well, yeah that didn’t work out so hot. It went from friends to me actually getting the feels for her. And then just when things were starting to actually progress into a real relationship, I lost her. Not like lost like a kid leaves a toy at the park, but like. . . well we’re not together anymore. It was my choice. I didn’t deserve her. I devoted all my down time to her without realizing that I was neglecting my kid sister. Now I can’t find her either.

I mean, I know Shiloh is an adult and she can take care of herself but, fuck. I should have paid her more attention, taught her how to protect herself. I dunno. She’s gone now and I hope she’s just off exploring or found some dude that she’s madly in love with and ran off with him. But would she just leave and not tell me like that? I hope not. I also hope she isn’t dead. I’ve been searching for days on end and nothing. No signs of where she could be. She’s done this before though, just upped and left with no word. Worried me to death but she came back. Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s what is going on right now. I hope so.