To say that I’ve been lucky since coming to Arklay is an understatement.  Since I’ve been in the city, I had only heard of tragedy through others, but not seen it first hand.  People going missing and presumed dead, a girl found dead in the old fair grounds, people getting injured by biters, looting, kidnapping, etc etc.   Yet somehow I’ve managed to stay away from it all.  Of course you can’t avoid danger for ever, especially not in this city.  So it had to come knocking on my door eventually.

Jovy and Jet had gone on a run.   Should not have gone alone, but that is beside the point.   They found an old, tired, abandoned deli and decided, I guess, to see if there was anything left worth hauling home.  They were attacked by biters and while I don’t know the whole story, Jet ended up with a metal rod through the arm, blood loss and being dragged to the hospital by Jovy.

The next day I had thought it was strange that she wasn’t around, but I know how people are.  People come and go as they please, out scavenging or whatever else.  So I just assumed maybe she and Therion were out hunting or scavenging since he was no where to be seen either.  By that afternoon, I found out my assumptions were wrong.  Jovy had asked Amy to tell us all, but the word didn’t spread as I’m sure Jovy had hoped.  She was just heading out to go look for her knife and things she’d had to leave behind at the deli when she asked Amy if she’d told us.  She hadn’t.  Nice way to find out the leader of your group was nearly killed.  I’d never gone out on an actual run before, just my daily sneaking through the city to see what I could fine, so I decided I’d volunteer to go along or potentially say something I’d regret to the people staying behind.

Jovy is fairly new and very quiet, which I can relate too.  I want to get to know more about the people here.  Its hard to decide how far to trust folks if you never make the effort to see who they are.   So I went.  I’m pretty sure she’d have rather gone alone.  I could be wrong, since she is a bit hard to read, but I think she was kind of irritated with me.  I am small, shorter than most.  Its not as if I didn’t noticed somewhere in the last 30 years that I am what I am, but it really is starting to grate on my nerves that I’m seen as incapable or incompetent.

These people don’t know me.  They don’t know the shit I’ve survived.  Yeah I hear their stories of their childhood that was so awful and how they had to grow in a world already fucked over long before there were biters, but that doesn’t some how mean that someone who led a ‘normal’ average life is somehow less capable.  Is just less.

So when Jovy started out I was determined I’d go with her.  Its about time the people here at the Eights stop looking at me like I’m just another mouth to feed, just someone to tend the garden while they go do the heavy lifting.  I can pull my weight.

After what happened today, I hope that at least Jovy sees me a little differently.  It seemed within minutes of our arrival at the store, they were on us again.  The hordes must really like that deli.  Anyway, thankfully it was just a handful, but they had us pretty preoccupied.  One managed to get behind me, coming around a shelving unit and grabbing at my packet before I even realized he was there.  Yes, I ended up falling and banging up my stupid knee.  Got a real nice gash across my right knee as a memento, but I did kill it.  Jabbed my knife in that things head just like I have on several other occasions.  Of course, Dil showed up and ‘rescued’ me by pulling the thing off my chest where it was crushing me, so I’m sure they will still see me as dead weight around here.

I’m really getting tired of it.  Just not entirely sure what to do about it yet.

There was a picnic that same day.  I still kinda laugh at that thought.  A dang picnic while the world is in shambles, but hey, people still have to eat.  Dil and I decided to go check it out on our way to go check on Jet.  We got there and I saw several familiar faces from the Eights and some of our regular visitors, but also a slew of people I’ve never seen before.  Not sure what all had gone on before we got there but it was quite obvious after a few minutes that something was going on between Eva and B, the owner of the Dollhouse.  Not a clue what it was and frankly am perfectly happy to keep my nose out of it, but after Eva and crew left, B was whispering and motioning in their direction.

I decided it was a problem for another day, especially when I realized no one had even told B about Jet.  Maybe its my imagination or maybe its just me being overly protective of the person who took me in and fed me and has since protected me, but I quickly became thoroughly infuriated with my neighbors.  No one went to look for Therion when Jet was hurt.  Yama was supposed to leave a note for him or something, but didn’t.  The sisters didn’t even go check on her or tell anyone what had happened until well after the fact and I don’t know that anyone is helping her now.  Dil said he’d taken her some meds and I know Therion is doing all he can, but if we are seriously trying to stick together here and make a go of living instead of just surviving, shouldn’t we all be taking care of each other?

I have a lot of thinking to do.