I’ve taken great pride in taking care of the eights and it’s residents. It’s become something to focus on. Even helping people that I meet on the streets seems to give me a sense of purpose.

I was out walking when I saw a man and a woman standing in front of each other near the hospital. Yama, he was already watching what was happening. There didn’t seem to be much of a fight or anything of the sort but the guy was hurt..that was for sure. He told me he knew the city like teh back of his hand, and if I needed anything he was the man to go to. I took this as an offer of partnership, and after finding out he was shot by someone, I offered to patch him up.

He met me at the eights, his name was Declan. He brought the woman with him, based on this I figured they had put aside whatever difference they had just moments before and I proceded to invite them both in. I patched up Declan, Sy fed the woman and that was that, I called it a night and went to sleep. There is a point to that part of this entry, trust me.

So the following day, I wake up to find out that Sweets, one of the sisters, is missing and the other sister, Eva has injured her ankle trying to dodge a bunch of biters with Yama. What a mess. There goes my thinking that the day would be quiet. I was so wrong..

While I was patching up Declan the night before, Eva brought in a new guy, Jordan. Seemed harmless enough, just looking for a place to crash kind of thing. I decided to bring this new guy with me to the hospital to look for crutches for Eva. She kept trying to get up to look for her sister and I couldn’t have her running around on that ankle, it was incredibly swollen.

We weren’t gone long, the hospital is a damn good place to find shitty crutches. They were torn and tarnished but they did the trick. Not like you can expect shit to be new out of the box around here anymore. When we got back to the eights, Jordan seemed to be laying it on a little thick, expressing his worry for Sweets though they had only met the one time. He was running around with a skull mask which seemed weird to me, but whatever to each their own.

I promised Eva I would find her and though Jordan was looking for Sweets mostly in the yard of the eights, I decided to venture further into the city..if she were around the eights she would have just gone home to her apartment with Eva..it made no sense to me that he wasn’t looking for her any further than the fucking gates, he wasn’t about to find her there.

I ended up at the docks, in an old bar. I walked in and looked around and listened for anything, movement mostly. I passed this like half wall and there were a bunch of boxes to my right…and there she was!! After hours of looking, I finally found her, huddled in the corner and not really moving much. I whispered to her to see if she was going to turn around and lash out at me, I had no idea if she’d been bitten but she looked to be in rough shape. Her clothes were filthy, she had bruises everywhere as well as cuts and was bleeding. She cowarded even more when she heard my voice, begging me not to hurt her, it wasn’t until she realised it was me that she threw herself at my leg and held on for dear life…begging me to take her home and to not leave her.

I took her home, she needed to be with her sister, I found her but I couldn’t do anything else for her other than fix up her cuts..she and Eva, they take care of each other and if one lost the other, I don’t think the one who would be left would make it.

When I brought her back to the apartment, Jordan was sitting in the living room with Eva. Good going on the search…did he think that maybe she was under the couch or something? What the fuck…

The sisters threw themselves into each other’s arms, it was so warm to see them finally together again even if Sweets wasn’t missing for that long..I knew how they felt, I felt the same way when Therion was no where to be found when we first arrived in Arklay. He isn’t around much now either, but at least I know where he is…most of the time. She wouldn’t talk about what happened, she just wanted to forget about it…but the way she looked Eva and I both knew someone had beat the living piss out of her.

It was almost instant. As soon as she saw that mask she fucking lost it, even though he was already right outside the door. The minute I figured out what the fuck she was screeching about, I ran to the door, my crossbow was already loaded and I held it pointed at him.

My adrenaline was high, my voice was trembling when I demanded to know what the hell he did to her, but my arm…my fucking arm was as straight as could be. I’m an awesome shot with that crossbow but even in a high tension moment like that, there was no way I would have missed.

Ha..here I am writing about it like I didn’t fire…I fired.

The more Sweets panicked and screamed about him and his mask, the more I tensed up on that trigger. How dare this asshole hurt one of them? Or anyone for that matter. The rules are foggy in this world we’re living in now but for fuck sakes, abduct an innocent young woman? For what??

She was screaming now, clutching at Eva…I pulled the trigger..I shot him in the leg, and he went down.

I had no intention of killing him, but he had absolutely no remorse. He just looked up at the sky and said he was coming home to like his parents and some chick? His sister maybe? Who the fuck knows.

I crouched in front of him and I said I would send him home, that the world was ugly now but it would still be better without him in it. I pulled the trigger again.

I killed him.

My crossbow dropped to my side immediately…did I really do that? Had I really shot a man in the fucking face with an arrow?

Sweets and Eva’s voice snapped me back, they asked if he was gone, and what we should do. The only thing I could think of was not to waste my arrows and I started pulling them out of his body.

I finally yanked out the arrow from his head aaaaaannnnnnndddd I have yet ANOTHER fucking gun in my face.

Who is it this time? Oh…it’s the chick I fucking fed, the one who was with Declan..lovely. She’s come to thank me with bullets.

I’m still in shock at this point, i’m trying to wrap my head around this person I’ve become. Did I really shoot some dude in the head for beating the crap out of Sweets and abducting her? Is this really fucking happening right now?

Who am I right now? Is this who I would have become if mama Delphie didn’t pull me off the streets when I was younger? Am I reverting back to street rat Gidjet so much that I’m just letting survival instinct completely take over?

Jesus christ..

I came out of my head of questions just in time to hear her losing her mind at me about shooting someone and demanding to know what happened.

Pretty ballsy for someone who doesn’t live there and really was only passing by…the hell difference does it make. I’m still fucking shook up about what happened, I did what I felt had to be done and now I have to defend my actions 3 seconds after it happened?

Fuck sakes lady, crawl out of my ass will you?

She yelled for a few minutes..I don’t know how long it was. I zoned out..I was pretty confident she wasn’t about to shoot me since she made such a big deal about this dead body on the ground despite the fact she didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about.

Pretty sure she was just looking to yell about how the world had changed.

Funny thing was she ended up thanking me for feeding her the night before and told me to drag that body into the woods to deter biters from coming into the city. Kind of like bait.

Jordan is in the woods now..and the sisters…they’re safe now.

Myself however, I’m still debating if I’m on a rapid decline…or if I’m evolving into a pretty impressive hybrid, one that still feels for those in need while still ending the lives of those who dares to cross me.