So, genius that I am, I was hauling some boards up from the old carnival to the Eights and I put a nail right in my palm. So stupid, the kind of thing my pop would yell at me about. I cleaned it best I could but it got infected and really hurt. I started telling people it was ninjas that did it because the truth was just too humiliating. My friend Taylor took her knife to it and tried to cut away the infection, I nearly passed out. And it didn’t help, the thing was itchy and red and hot and fucked. So I finally swallowed what was left of my pride and went down to the hospital. A cute nurse there was kind enough to treat me and when she went to clean the wound I DID pass out cold, fell right on the floor like a sack of potatoes. The nurse had to get the guard to help me back on the table. So completely embarrassing. But it’s always been that way, pain and the sight of blood makes me shriek like a little girl. People think “big dude, must be made of stone” but like the nurse said, I’m just a big ol’ teddy bear. A teddy bear who has to watch out for zombies. Fucking world.