**Disclaimer: Mi-Hyun’s journal is entirely from her IC perspective, where she deals with her innermost conflicts and emotions. It is where she gets them out. It can be intense and emotional, because that is how Mi-Hyun is under the surface. Keep in mind she has her own trauma and triggers from the world too. None of it is intended to be meant or taken OOC. I like to fully immerse myself into my character and her world, so this is one way to do it. I very much like realistic, deep and detailed RP and storylines. Especially with it’s own drama and multiple layers. Characters and their imperfections.

Mi-Hyun’s Journal is written in an old diary by hand. She often leaves it with her things where ever she stores them. If anyone ever wants to get a hold of it or go through her things, IM me and let me know.

Knowing someone’s innermost thoughts can be a double edged sword though, since her journal does not have the same politeness or sugar coating Mi-Hyun does! It is literally an open book to the world through her eyes. And it is sometimes funny, and sometimes cruel, but it is all Mi-Hyun. The diary also reflects her current state of mind and psychological health, which is something I am keeping track of along with her physical health. I keep track of everything on my characters. It adds a new layer for me to consider her mental health condition along with her physical health condition.**
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Oᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ 3ʀᴅ, Nᴇᴡ Dᴀᴡɴ.
~I woke up in a new place.

I spent the night in the shelter at the hospital.

They gave me some scrubs to wear so I had clean clothes. I left my own things out to dry. I still need to find some oil to clean some of my gear. Salt water is no good for metal.

I have so little. But it has to be enough.

I need to find more… Rebuild my supplies… Maybe that would help rebuild my confidence. My morale.

I feel a little better. I need to try while I have the strength. Or it will just get worse. I will go scavenging…

…

I found nothing…

But two zombies found me.

I have never faced the deadheads alone before.

Without my gun, with only my machete, it was a hard fight. They hurt me pretty bad.

But I am not bitten.

I caved the top of the first ones head in with my machete. It should have taken his head clean off. Seawater and utility has left my blade dull. I need to sharpen it.

The second grabbed me. Clawed my arm. Bit my shoulder. But it didn’t get through my poncho.

Thank the Gods I found that earlier.

I used a combination of MCMA that John taught me, and kick boxing to break it’s hold, break it’s knee, knock it to the ground, and then stomp it’s head in.

It wasn’t pretty. It was raw. Brutal. Instinct. Violent.

Did you know doctors take an oath to do no harm?

This is gray for combat medics though.

I suppose it’s a good thing I never became a full doctor.

I’m bleeding.

I need to go back to the hospital… Treat my wounds.

My first kills on this island.

At least they weren’t human.

At least I’m still human.

…

I stopped to buy some water and food before heading back to the hospital to treat my injuries. It cost everything I had for one water and one apple.

I will not be able to afford any more food or water…

Let alone other things I need…

This is adding to my stress and depression.

I will get used to being hungry and thirsty.

The human body can go three days without water.

Three weeks without food.

No choice. I will do what I need to do to survive.

When I headed back to the hospital… A group of four people appeared. Guns everywhere. A woman fired her gun in the air. Then said there is no need for violence.

I took cover. What could I do? I have no gun. No way to defend myself from that.

The woman preached. I thought maybe I could talk her down like I did the boy in the mask yesterday. But when she preached I knew it would be impossible. Religious fanatics are beyond reason.

Someone threw a flashbang. There was shooting all around. It was like being in a riot. One where everyone had guns but me.

My arm still bled.

Fortunately I was safe behind the engine block of a construction vehicle.

There was another man in a mask.

This one was nice. He seemed to want to protect me.

I almost cried in relief.

A sane man who wants to help people.

If I weren’t already married…

But… Is John still alive?

No… It’s too soon.

Then the masked man got shot in the head.

He fell right beside me.

How cruel can this world be where the good people who care are the ones who suffer the most?

I immediately went into medic mode. I pulled him back behind cover. I took his mask off. I checked his head for the damage, fearing the worst.

The mask had stopped the bullet.

I suspect he has head trauma. I didn’t feel anything broken when I examined him in the field. He was unconscious.

His face… He has terrible scars. I can understand why this man wears a mask. After I examined him I put it back on him.

After the fighting stopped, I stayed with him. I monitored his condition, and made sure no one tried to loot his body. I wanted to go try to loot a gun from one of the losing team members… But I could not leave a potentially good man unattended.

He gave me hope. Reminded me of the Marines I used to know.

It was still chaos. But the shooting stopped. So much death.

This will definitely attract more of the deadheads.

A van came to take people to the hospital. I went too.

I tended my wound there.

I lost a lot of blood. Light dizziness. But I’ll be okay.

I wonder if the hospital has blood for transfusions.

Should I suggest a blood drive?

…

A man came in. He was huge… And kind of sexy.

I was professional though.

He was nice to me too.

I am feeling better about this place. Better about these people. Maybe I just met a bad man or group when I first came in.

I treated his injuries. He was hurt fighting infected. Just like I was.

As horrible as it sounds, I prefer treated those wounded by infected. Those hurt by other humans is always so much more tragic.

I saw many terrible wounds when working on the soldiers.

That is why psychology is just a big part of medicine in the military medical sector.

The big man was okay though. I patched him up and he left on his own feet.

I went up to change.

So much chaos tonight… So many people moving about the hospital.

I will restock my own medical supplies while here, so that I have some medical supplies on hand when I am in the field as well.

For now I return to work.

…

A man came in with a gunshot wound to his thigh. I went to work on him.

We talked. He was funny. It has been a long time since I had a normal conversation with anyone.

He said he worked at the doll house. There was a woman with him, who was worked on by another nurse while I tended them.

I gave my name, but none of them gave theirs.

I suppose I should be used to this.

And then the Preachers came back.

They attacked the hospital while I was suturing the exit wound on the back of the man’s thigh.

Guns. Grenades.

They attacked, shooting out windows with assault rifles. Throwing grenades inside. Though we were lucky enough not to get bombed. We heard them go off upstairs.

When the Preachers came in the woman with the man said they were infected.

Zombies now use guns?

I saw them killed at the earlier firefight. These were the same people. Attacking again.

Wat.

I don’t even.

I would love to get my hands on one of their corpses to study in a lab. I would make sure they stay down.

But between the four of us, only one of us had a gun. The man. With one bullet.

Melee is… Useless.

How are we supposed to defend against assault rifles and grenades?

This really is becoming a warzone.

I think I may need to return to being a combat medic.

When the Preachers came in, I pulled the medical cabinet around in front of us to give us some concealment cover and hide us.

Then they lit the lobby on fire.

Then they left.

I was hesitant to leave, because I thought they would be waiting outside to shoot anyone who came out.

Joseph came in and saved the day though.

He was a hero.

I might even let him see me naked.

I might even let him eat Korean.

His mighty hose quenched all fires.

After we had everything under control, more people came running in. Breaking down doors. Shouting. Telling us what we should do.

I laughed.

Then the man I had worked on said “blowjobs”.

I like him.

I only hated to see the exit wound on the back of his leg come undone. I was only half way done with the sutures when the attack came.

Medical practice is hard work, and for the effort to be interrupted…

The Preachers attacked a hospital while we were tending wounded.

I have decided they are bad.

I don’t like them.

I’m a Buddhist anyways.

John was a Christian.

Yeah that was interesting.

The man offered to pay me if I come work on his wound and wear a schoolgirl costume.

I said okay.

I won’t lie.

Hungry Asian girl has a huge shopping list and will take any jobs she can get.

It’s dinner time and I’m all out of rice.

The hospital no longer appears safe. I’m putting together a EMT bag to work in the field or wherever is safe or wherever I may be needed.

I think my services will be useful to people, and I am taking any work right now to get the things I need.

First and foremost, I need a gun.

It’s too dangerous without one.

And zombies with guns now… My machete barely cut it as it was.

Cut it.

I kill me.

I am a small woman to begin with, and even though I am trained in self defense, I can’t beat guns.

I will do whatever I have to do.

I’m going to roam the beach now. Look for any signs. Anything.

John. Soo-Yeon. Dae-Hyun. Soo-Mee. So-Hee.

I need you. I want my family back.

There is so much grief inside me.

I will take any amusements I can right now.

John… I’m sorry.

I have always been faithful to you.

We all have to do what we need to to survive.

You understand this.

Please don’t think me unfaithful.

I can’t go on without help.

I can’t do this alone.

I will do what I need to do to survive.
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