((This is a journal entry from my character Jordana. She tends to write things in quite sporadically. Here she’ll be detailing things she feels passionate about, her inner emotions, dark secrets, and maybe some stuff about her mental state as well. Unless someone were to find this journal they would not know any of these things IC. The journal itself is a small black leather notebook with a pen stuck inside it. Her handwriting is in cursive and it looks very neat. The journal’s usually in her backpack, underneath all the other shit in there or in her apartment, lying on her dresser. If anyone wants to RP going through her stuff and finding it, shoot me an IM. I’d be more than happy to help out. She’ll probably shit-talk a LOT of people in here, please don’t take offense OOC. Anyways, I’ll stop rambling and let you read what you came for.))
November 24th, 2015.
Maybe I’ll make this a regular thing. Maybe it’ll be easier writing in it weekly. David and Selene quit today. Just walked out, like nothing mattered. Looking out for the future baby. Can’t say I blame them. I’d do the same damn thing if I lived in this town and was having a baby. Granted, I’d never have a fucking baby, but still. Fucking burdens. They just scream and make a mess. I have no time or patience for that. Much rather just grow old in peace, without having to worry about a dumb ass kid. Ah well, good for them. May they suffer together with their soon to be annoying child. We gotta figure out who’s gonna take over. I don’t want it to cause any rifts between people. I’m considering it. That place is more important to me than anything. It’s like a second home. Most people there are like family. We’ll hire some security, advertise our services, maybe a new coat of paint, some more repairs, and finish up that addition on the back. It’ll all work out. It has to. Not tonight though. Tonight I just wanna relax and sleep and try and forget until tomorrow. They called it a staff meeting but only three fucking people showed up. Not even Lina, although I can’t blame her. The girl was tired as fuck. I’ll fill her in tomorrow.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About Ricky. About that pregnant lady. About “Jasmine”. “Jordana”. All that shit. I mean, what if they never find me? What if those raiders never come like they said they would? Is it even worth bothering over? I probably should’ve just gone by my first name when I got here. I miss the way it sounds, as weird as that seems. I miss being called Jasmine. I miss Ricky saying it. Probably shouldn’t have made sure he broke his ankle then. Too late for that, I suppose. I had to. I know it. I had to or else I’d be dead right now. He deserved it anyways. Bastard. I didn’t realize it right away, but he’s the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever known. Took advantage of me at every opportunity he got. Some might call him pragmatic, but they weren’t the ones dealing with his bullshit. Guess I should get over it. Too late now. Bastard’s dead or walking around as a living corpse. Not sure which fate is worse. He called me Jas sometimes though. Like jazz. It was fucking annoying. That’s not my damn name. My name’s too pretty to be shortened into some ugly ass nickname. Although everyone insists on making nicknames that have to do with my height instead. I think that’s more annoying, but everyone inevitably does it to me at one point or another and we’ve got worse shit to deal with than shitty nicknames so I probably shouldn’t be bitching about it, but I am anyways. I’m tired. Night.
Love, Jasmine.
