As I sit here to write this entry I come to realize I have not wrote a thing since before the outbreak.  I once wrote more than I talked it was my escape. rather I was writing poems or lyrics I was writing.  That is something I do regret not going back for my notebooks.  However now we need to learn to live with no regrets and only move forward.  That is what I am trying to do and why I picked up this pencil.

So much has happened here in Arklay but as of late it seems that nothing goes right, the rain started this past week and has not stopped.  I know we need it and collecting water is a must in times like this, but it seems to have put a damper on things.  There is already so much bad in the world it seems like it can’t get worse but then you turn around and another hit below the belt.

The rain let up long enough for the plane to fly over, thinking it was a supply drop the people ran to the streets only to be dusted with gas, next thing we know is there was shots being fired in town only to find out later that the town had been taken over by mercenaries, and there really is nothing merciful about theses people.  They come in, they beat, they kill and take.

I had taken a hit to the face by a town nuisance, long story short; I heard yelling, went to check, saw a girl over a guy in distress, she opens door, smacks me in the face with the butt of her rifle.  Come to find out upon entry she had stabbed said guy two times.  With the help of Conrad we were able to get him to the hospital.  I had my nose reset and suffer still from that and a fracture cheek bone along with a busted lip, but time will heal the physical stuff, its’s what I am holding inside that is slowing killing me or was.

After the incident with the girl I took a few days off from the hospital, and when I went back I walked in on something that I will never forget.  Porkins the pervy security guard laid out with a GSW to the head.  As I look more one of the shelter workers laid out with a GSW to the chest.  Both males were expired upon my arrival.  Sorry if this entry or part of it sounds off just easier for me to put these words to paper without soaking the paper with my tears is if I write it as I would a report.  In a way I am glad I missed that day or work, however I still feel guilty that maybe had I been there things would have been different.  Maybe lives would have been spared.

I have few people I really call friends these days.  I know most everyone in town however who I call friends, is very limited.  Hard to trust anyone in times like these.  I had already thought things couldn’t get worst till I went up the next day to find two dear friends in a room.  At first I thought they both were injured laying there together however once I saw, it was just Aiden.  His body so battered.  He looked like he had been tortured, and Kali my heart sank for her.  I know how she felt her loved one laying there.  I am not one to want to kill, in-fact all I want to do is save lives but in that moment I had so much rage and hate in me I personally wanted to go out and find who had done this to my friends and kill them myself.

Things seemed quiet today, maybe too quiet, like the calm before the storm?  However the rain still falls.  I do have something in my life right now but I am afraid to put that to paper, afraid I will jinx myself so for now I will close this with.

“It Can’t Rain All the Time”