((I believe this will be my fourth character and out of all of them I have never had any of them write their thoughts. Too busy trying not to get chewed on or shot down. I’ll give it a whirl this time around. ICly Furiosa keeps her random writings in the hollowed out portion of a book, cause who’s gonna go through a book, she writes small on purpose so if anyone does find her random writing they’ll be squinting a good while. Anyway without further ado..))

What’s the point in all of this? The writing I mean, not the fighting day in day out method during this apocalypse. Though I do wonder why I even bother, is it my survival instinct kicking in, some little false hope a cure will be found and things will go back to how it was, or am I simply just afraid to look death in the eye? Maybe a mix of number one and two, last I checked it’s not like my life was anything special so why worry about a cure? I was a journalist, nothing special decent pay, got to sate my curiosity get the scoop get it in the paper boom paid. I had a family, not the amazing brady bunch in fact. I hated them with ever fiber of my being.

My father was always gone, his work was his lover, makes me wonder why he even married mom and have four fucking kids. My mother that lovely piece of hysterical work. So wrapped up in her own self loathing that hubby didn’t want to be home, she pretty much neglected her kids. I was the oldest so I had to pretty much take the reigns. My two sisters and brother became my responsibility. School, work, studies, making sure they had what they needed on top of having to make sure pops remembered to write a check for the bills…Ah memories

I guess I was a shit replace mom for my siblings, time went on everyone grew up moved out…They grew into monsters. Very ungrateful adult monsters. They took and took and took from me. And like a fool I kept giving because were family..You’re suppose to look out for family…bullshit. After the whole outbreak epidemic we shacked up in my decent yet crummy little apartment and turn the place into a fort. My family really showed how they loved one another…and me. Dad went out for “supplies” left was more like it no shocker that was his specialty. Could see it in the bastard’s eyes he didn’t plan on returning. Days turned to weeks supplies dwindled, no sign of dad the others freaked I didn’t. I was called cold, distant, uncaring by my siblings. Funny didn’t I practically sway you to sleep while mommy dearest swayed her sixth cup of liquor.

Mom snapped started screaming at us that it was our fault dad left yet again. That she should aborted us all. Tell us how you really feel. My sisters went to me for comfort like a fool I let them even though moments ago they told me I was cold. My brother tried consoling my mother giving her a glass of water false words of comfort that dad would come back, I didn’t dare speak up against him even though I knew…It was a lie. Things calmed down, wasn’t long before mother completely snapped I was use to her episodes but this I hadn’t expected. She broke that same cup my brother had given her filled with water, taken a jagged piece of glass and tried attacking him. He fended her off not without getting a cut to the arm, my sisters looking to me now as if it was my job to stop her, so I did playing white knight yet again.

I went for the gentle approach soothing words, dad would be back yada yada things of that nature. The old bat looked at me as if I was crazy, yet she was the one holding a jagged piece of glass attacking her own son. Slow steps I went to retrieve the make shift weapon, bad move on my part because she went for me next. Swinging that glass around saying I was the main hell child, that I made her look like a bad mother…How? How exactly did I make her look bad?! Oh doing her job for her while she curled into a depressive ball and cry, was I suppose to just stand there watch my siblings starve, cry, while she did nothing..Maybe I should have.

Her remark caught me off guard, giving her plenty of time to swing at me. Raised my arms to block it got a nice scar in my right arm now..Thanks mom, and yes it hurt, hurt so bad I swung at her without thinking. I hit my mom, woman that gave birth to me raised me somewhat, I hit her silly and I felt…happy. She dropped to the floor out cold, silence was deafening without looking around or saying anything I collected a blanket tore it up some what and made restraints for old mother dear. Got her dealt with and cleaned up the mess. Tried tending to my brother’s injury he wouldn’t let me, going on saying he didn’t want a mother beater helping him…Whatever dude.

It was silent that day, only got occasional stares from my siblings here and then, and glares from mom who was sporting a nice black eye. Still felt good about that to be honest. I retired to my room just done with everyone and everything I helped and got treated like the black lamb. Ungrateful, whining, sniveling little shits that I shared DNA with. I passed out with those thoughts, my final one being just leaving them all here to rot. Woke up later that night, like clock work asked was anyone hungry. No response, so I asked again, and was greeted with silence..again.

It had to be a joke thinking this as I checked through out the apartment. No sisters..no brother..and mom was gone too. No way in hell would any of them go out looking for supplies. They were all too chicken shit for that, it was my job or dad’s..I kept looking like one of them would jump out and say “Got ya! just any minute now..They didn’t only thing I discovered was that what supplies we did share were completely gone. Fuckers…So much for love..so much for family. I spent my life being helpful emotionally, financially, I gave they took, I expected nothing but at the same time some gratitude. “Thanks sis you’re the best!” or even a fucking “You doing okay? Know you’re going through a lot.”

But no, I spent years of what felt like my life force being drained from me, and to have them all leave me here alone with nothing…I hope their dead, and I mean that immensely….Wow got so engrossed with the past I ended up writing it out…Guess it’s okay to write what you feel time to time…But enough of that, I don’t really have much to report on this new place, other then I should get the hell out of here just something about it feels..”off” then again last time I followed my gut I was robbed blind and left alone..so it’s at least worth a look..I can’t stay in this abandoned building forever, it’s cold and not a lot of protection to offer..Looks like I’ll have to play nice maybe get a juicy scoop while at it…

Maybe this won’t be so pointless, Furiosa out..