Day 353,

When I first got to this town, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I figured…stop in for supplies, maybe rest for a few days, a week. But then I found it was a working town, with businesses, housing. People who lived here permanently. People who would fight for what they considered theirs. The zombie population was surprisingly low, most probably run out by those who built the town back up after everything went to shit. Only seen them in the forests, really, besides the odd one or two that crawl in at night and wander down the streets aimlessly. They are quickly dispatched, so no matter.

I figured, if this place was doing this well, compared to some of the towns I’d been through before, maybe it was a good idea to stay. To stick around. So I did…and I’m not sure when it happened, but I became a member of this town. At the Doll House I met and befriended a lot of people. Some of them I was closer to than others; like Jordana.

She’s a little feisty, but she has a good spirit about her and I know she just wants to help better things. I’m not sure if it’s out of some sense of duty or guilt, maybe the combination of the two, but I do know that she’s a good person and she deserves someone who can give her what she needs. I…attempted to be that person, but I just…I’m not. I can’t be, and I won’t force myself to be. We talked, finally. I’m glad we did, even if it felt like it didn’t go so terribly well, but it was better than the way I left. I think some people are meant to just be friends, if we can manage to get back to that sort of relationship – which I think we can, given time. It’s not like there’s too much to do in the winter anymore besides sit around with people you know and shoot the shit.

David and Selene left the Doll House in the hands of its workers recently. We’ve been acting as a sort of committee these past few days, trying to make decisions together as a group, which I appreciate, but it seems like they’ve all appointed me head honcho based on my age alone. Guess that’s fitting, but I can’t do this alone. Don’t think I’ll have to either, someone approached me about a business proposition, so of course I accepted. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, everything coming out of my mouth 90% of the time is hot air anyway. It’ll be nice having someone…experienced on the team. Plus she says she’s bringing in more dolls. Girls this time. We didn’t have any. A whorehouse with no whores, imagine that.

Another co-worker and good friend of mine, Lukka, he’s moved in with me at the apartment. I haven’t actually lived alone before, so it was getting to me a little bit, I think. He’s not here too often, but I can look around and see his things and for some reason that brings me some comfort, knowing there are others in this apartment besides just myself. It’s lonely to live alone, even if you prefer the silence. Plus, I couldn’t leave him to sleep in the shop or, god forbid, in the trees anymore. While it’s much safer at the DH now, I sleep better at night knowing all of my friends have places they can stay. He’s normally gone by the time I wake up, and he doesn’t come in till after I’ve fallen asleep most of the time, but it’s still nice.

There’s so much more I need to write in here, things that have happened…but I’m tired, and I’m not sure I feel like repeating myself again, even if it’s in a journal. We’ll see.