Hello, little notepad, I aint seen you in a while, so I think its bout damn time I start writing bout the shit goin on in my mind, and funny to think I dont know where to begin.

It all first started at ATC, everything was never this quiet, was never this calm, slow, lacking the joy of people. It lacked so much of these little things. I played the guitar in front of everyone, and sung, we all told stories, fished together, fought together, shed blood for each other. How could it go south? Well let me tell ya, it became fucking work, remember before the outbreak, when we drove miles a day, to be a place we didnt want to be, to do things we didnt want to do, with people we didnt want to do it with. That is what fuckin happend, I had people disappear but there was one case, just one, that struck me odd.

Krissy, our employee, just up and left, I didnt see her for a couple of days, aint know where she had gone, dont know what she was doin, and honestly, I dont think I gave a fuck. But who should, its the end of normal times, getting to know people and being close….that aint supposed to happen, aint supposed too, but in same cases does. Well, I had been hearin around town bout some redheaded chick causin mayhem, and terror as if she was some sort of mini god-zilla, I…as usual…just ignored the signs of it being her. I had people tell me it was that loony group, The Four, and Krissy was with it, I ignored it.

It all got turned around though, and fast. She shot my client’s man. Shot em right in his arm. Now, as far as I knew, she was still an employee, and employee’s attacking customers…thats an apocalypse no-no. People came too me, basically sayin she was my problem, that she was my responsibility…what do I do? It aint about that, what do I NEED to do? Its my life, or hers. Well….welcome to the apocalypse baby.

I set out a bounty on her head, not to really rile up the folks to go killin, but as a scare tactic, I have the money, I have guns, I have power…ill just sit back and enjoy the show. I sat, I waited, I waited for somethin…whether it was a head on a silver platter, or her wanting forgiveness I waited, I stood outside, in the rain, looking outside and around ATC, just waiting for that moment. Thank the devil for Izzy, always being by my side, helped me keep calm through all this, kept me sane.

Soon enough, the moment came, I come back from doing my rounds, and there she was, Krissy, standing there in the rain, talking to Conrad, she begged me to talk. What do I do? Do I let her speak? Ah fuck it, is all I could think, ill let her speak. All she did was apologize, say she did wrong, she didnt mean to do nothin bad or wrong, yada yada, crock of shit. And honestly, she truly acted like I have a single fuck about it…I didnt, I didnt care about anything. The people wanted something done, not me. She could of killed kittens and sold them to the diner for all I gave a shit. But she became a public menace. After some talking, she agreed to a punishment, to be confined as I would find fit, no limit to amount of time, and public humiliation.

Well, I kept up to my word for the most part, I had her strip to her underwear, hogtied, and hung her by her hands and feet in the air, in the rain, with it being 50 degrees outside, I was hoping she would get hypothermia, lose a couple toes or some shit. She just sat there, swinging in the air, quietly……so….quiet…..so….fucking…quiet.   Why was she so fucking quiet? Does she not get it? Did she like being like that? Ill be damned if I give a punishment that wouldn’t make someone scream for mercy, this was bullshit!

That was it,  fucking snapped, I couldnt take her being so fucking quiet, not saying a word, not asking for a higher power to save her from her fucking sins. I cut her down from her air swing, I stared at her, she knew something was not going to go her way, I drug her ass to the edge of the docks, things started to become numb to me, I remember my heart pounding out of my chest. The rain was pounding, I felt like I could of been swimming, but nothing was stopping me, not the numb fingers, or soaking wet socks, nothing could stop me. I was pissed off, pissed off at how quiet everything was. She looked up at me, and she laughed. Why did you laugh? What was so fucking funny?

So like everyone else, I raised my AK, barrel right against her forehead, things went through my mind, memories of the crew laughing, getting alone, all of us fishing together on the docks, all the fish we would catch, the times we had….I squeezed my finger…..

So long, and thanks for all the fish.