I am standing on the edge of the pier down by the Palms. The broad expanse of the empty horizon is mirroring what I think my soul must look like right now.

The Nothingness has won I think. Even fear is beyond me. Nothingness and a new realization.

There is a power in Nothingness.

When everything is fed into the nothingness, No One has the power to touch me … to Hurt me in a far deeper way then a knife or bullet could ever do.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

For so long I have been afraid to take off the Mask. Not solely because I wanted to hide (what I have been made into) from the world. The bigger, more powerful reason was this …

Without the Mask I am naked, raw … splayed out for all to see. The feelings … the undercurrent

of who I am now would be uncovered.

After last night though, the nothingness has overwhelmed and consumed everything. Things are still there I suppose, but they are so deep, so covered over by this tangible emptiness that I think I could easily give up the Mask now.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

I wonder though …

Is the Nothingness just a new kind of mask?