*The breath that she could hear had to be her own. She was held up in some abandoned building, curled up in a cabinet, hoping it wouldn’t come crashing down with her weight. If not for her breath, the soft creaking of the wood was the only other noise. Did they hear her? What was out there? A loud crack was heard and a thump against the floor.. Oddly, not that she would notice, the cabinets did not come crashing down atop her. Silvy stood up straight in the apartment kitchen. Backing up against a wall as a man with a hook for a hand slowly walked up to her. The crooked grin on his face giving her the impression he had been waiting there all along. Just waiting and knowing exactly where she was that entire time.

“Get away from me!” She said, fear closing her throat up. She could hear his feet shuffling and when she herself tried to move her legs became stiff and overweight. Almost as if she were sinking down in the mud that barely covered the tile floors.

“Silvy.. tell me the truth. Tell me of Arklay.” The man said. He shuffled closer, his body slowly melting into his skeletal structure. “Tell me everything.” his voice was becoming ancient sounding. Then a rattle escaped his peeled back lips while his eyes whitened and rolled back into his skull. “Teeeeeeeeellll meeeeeeeeeeeeee…” Suddenly she was no longer within that old apartment kitchen. Now she was in the middle of the woods.. looking up at not just one but a horde of zombies reaching down at her. She tried to scream, but the fear was too great and the scream died within her throat. It eventually turned to a sob as she recognized the outstretched fingers and the dead behind it. Darla.. David.. Abe.. Billias.. her father.. All of them reaching for her.

“Silvy… Wake up.. Hey babe.. please!” Billias’ corpse spoke..  The hook on the man’s arm scraping along her belly to her ribs. She couldn’t feel it but she could see it tearing into her skin and clothes.

“Babe please!” He called out again. She watched.. silently as they started to dip their hands into her open wound and pull out her insides.. was this it? Did she just die?.. no, it would be more painful than this right?

“HEATHER WAKE UP!”…*

June 2016…

I woke up from a nightmare this morning. I shouldn’t complain. At least I woke up. Billias was sitting at the kitchen table again. Calling out my name to try and wake me up. Told me I was crying in my sleep. I was dehydrated and my heart was still pounding in my throat from the dream.. So I excused myself to head to the garage. Worst idea ever. Walking along the fringe down to Dixon’s in barely morning light, that is. By the time I got here I vomited up white foam. Once inside the garage I snagged some water from the cola machine and crawled under the desk to have a good cry.

I hate that Billias woke up to that. Normally I just ignore dreams like that. Wake up and I can shake them free no problem. Just a dream. This one I couldn’t stomach. That horde at the hospital the other night.. Thank gods no one was hurt too badly.

I just had to keep looking. Each body had some sort of something worse than the other. Each one I turned over gave me a little bit of happiness to know it was not Abe or my brother… but it came with a cost. Realizing that they were someone else’s loved one before all this. I’ve never looked close at any of the biters I killed before. Even when I was sure my Dad and Brother were dead.. long before I came here. I never had reason to look that close. Maybe I didn’t want to know if I knew them or not..

The hospital gates need to be re-enforced. I should suck it up and go talk to Kay. Try to make sure that this does not happen again. Shit, why would she listen to me? The woman couldn’t even be bothered to come down and pick up the key for her generator herself. I don’t even know what she looks like or if she is as dismissive as I’ve been told. I just don’t want to wake up one morning to find that the hospital is gone due to another horde rush. Though, they seemed to have handled it just fine this time. Maybe I am worrying over nothing.

That same shit could head our way. This just encourages me to hurry with the fence around the garage. It isn’t much. Sure as fuck isn’t the eights.. But it is better than nothing. Gives whoever is stuck at or in the garage a chance to either escape via one of the other gates, or to hide within the garage and close it up best they can… So many projects..

When I get to working on these projects, it is like I forget. If just for a moment, but I do forget. I forget that David and Abe are missing. I forget that my father was stripped and shot in the back of the head so close to this island.. I forget that half of my workers, if not more, have gone missing. I forget that just outside this Island are thousands if not millions of these un-dead beings.. just waiting. And that a good point zero five percent of them is probably someone I knew or had known at some point.. I shouldn’t think about this stuff. Ever.

All it does is make me wonder how I have made it this far.. Me, the failure.. the fuck up. The person who probably least deserves such a chance at survival. Hell, I am so scared most the damn time. It is a wonder I don’t just drop to my knees, pissing myself crying while a child biter chews my arm off without effort. Somehow, I raise my gun and do what needs to be done. Somehow, I forget who and what I am.. and charge in to help others out. That is what you’re supposed to do right? How long can I keep this up? How much longer will I have to?..

((The rest of the page is filled with scribbles. Nothing of worth is doodled or sketched. If anything it simply looks like someone was wasting ink from an old ballpoint pen just trying to get it to work.))