2016 June.. I think.

Normally I would speak to Billias about these things. He has been good at letting me talk his ear off every night when I come home. Lately however, he seems distracted, sick. I tried to get him to go to the hospital, but due to the bad blood between them and myself.. he refuses. Saying it will pass. I hope it does, but just in case I have been gathering supplies and offering help in order to rebuild the burned bridge with the hospital. Hope it works.

Tanner seems to be alright with me entering, but he made me promise that if I lose my temper I am to donate my gun and ammo to the hospital. Do I really have that bad of a temper? Perhaps I should watch myself a lot closer from now on. Not that the hospital couldn’t use my gun and ammo, but I kinda need it more…

So far I have donated the food from the cook out and a couple jugs of water. Most the candy I find, I have no use for. So I donated that as well. Some canned goods and whatever else.. I can’t remember what else I put in there. This feels weird. Writing all this when I know damn good and well that the moment I need to build a fire these pages will be the first in. What is the point of writing if no one is going to see it?.. Billias says it helps get thoughts out. To re-read them and see them from a different point of view as our moods and emotions change. Maybe he’s right.

So what is on my mind?

I set up a reward for two missing people. Saving up the money and paying off people for work is hard to do.. Hiring new people as much as I can.. Not seeing any of the old ones all that often and work is piling up.. Kinda out of no where ended up taking over the garage.

There is still no sign of Rue. I think she is gone for good this time. What happened? This just makes me more nervous as now David has gone missing again and so has Abe. It has been a few weeks now, so trails are harder than before to find. It is also getting hotter out in the fringe. The shade from the trees is little help when the humidity is caught along with the stench. I miss DeeOhGee. I bet we would have found them by now if he was still around.

Frankie is nearer and closer to dropping her pups each day. I am nervous about it. It has been so long since I last helped a dog through labor. Hopefully she can just do all the work herself, but I should still be there just in case. Hopefully Emily is still interested in taking her in… I haven’t had a chance to speak with her in weeks.

My concentration feels spread too thin. I read what I have written and it just feels like random rambling. I don’t even have a page yet. Good thing I never took those writing classes like I had wanted. Fuck, I misspelled something. I miss typing and spell check. Already know my Grammar is shit. What am I doing?

((The rest of the page has turned to doodles and random sketches of random things. One of a large tree with five small figures under it. One is the silhouette of a dog playing with a small girl, the other three seem to look happy as if a family watching over them. “E.L.R. & D.D.R” delicately drawn inside a heart. A few smudged fingerprints upon the page can also be found as shading was done.))