Soaked in my beloved’s blood.

Why…why did it have to be you.. Christian? You left me here, in this hell. Granted I have been searching for you for months now. I have stumbled upon this generally docile place. Arklay. You would have loved the people I have met so far. Each day.. I feared you were gone. Instead you were walking in a mindless purgatory. My mind is swimming with guilt, anger, pain.. I am not sure I can keep going. Sitting here.. staining these old tattered pages with your blood.

 Hope.. I despise the word. I am forever jaded by the sick sound of your inhuman grunts as you approached me. Not with the adoring gaze you once held when your soul was intact. No. I struggled… I wanted to keep you. Save you. Instead I had to put you down and relieve you of your misery. I am not sure if I will be able to maintain the will to keep going on without you. Just know, my mind and heart are always with you. I can’t write anymore.. my fucking tears are making it impossible to continue… fuck it… I want to die too… maybe.. I will try. For you. If only to do what you would have wanted me to. truck on. Damn you Christian!! I will always love you…