Ellinor turned over a can of fruit in her hand as she walked toward the ATC. Partly wondering if she should eat it then or save it for later when she needed food and hydration. Right then she felt fine. Seemed like a waste to eat or drink when one was not thirsty or hungry. She was aware of who was around her, but deemed Conrad to be unimportant or none threatening at that moment. So, she kept her eyes and thoughts on the can in her hands.

“Hey… Blondie. I know where you are holding up now.” Conrad said as she got close enough. She paused looking up at him.

“Good for you.” She replied simply. “Would you like a medal? Isn’t like it would have been that hard to see from here.” Conrad’s eyes narrowed some and he took a step toward her.

“I don’t know what you and that other girl are up to, but you two better think twice.” His tone had become more threatening. “I’ve been here since day one. I’m not going to let you or your little friend fuck with my town. You get me?” Ellinor met him with a straight face. Her aviators still covering half of her expression. She watched him for a moment.

“Why you think I give two shits about you or your town?” she asked. “I don’t know what the fuck you think, nor do I care. I came here for a job. I’m doing my job. I’ve done nothing to you or anyone else here…”

“Yet.” He interrupted. “I know you’re up to something. I know you stole that shit. First evidence I find, you and your girlfriend are out on your ass. You’ll be lucky they don’t strip you naked and feed you to the walkers.” He growled. Ellinor lowered her can of fruit, taking in a deep breath then reached up and removed her glasses. She looked down at the ground while she folded them up against her stomach and slipped them into her shirt.

“Conrad…” she said, the first time ever saying his name rather than the demeaning nickname she had awarded him. She noted his stance first, feet apart. Ready for an attack. “Threaten me all you want. I take it in stride and consider it fun at times.” She reached up rubbing her jaw as she was trying to keep that desire… that seething pacing beast behind the bars at bay for now. “Do not bring my friend into this. At most she was worried for me, came down to make sure I was alright. You’ve no idea the kinda shit we been through.” She tilted her head up and for the first time, Conrad looked into her eyes. The hair standing up on the back of his neck as the light caught her dead eye just enough to reflect it back. “I’ve put up with shits like you before. I’ve dealt with shits like you before. Thinking they know myself or my friend. Thinking they were protecting their community from some sort of harm… But ya know what?” Conrad’s jaw set, hand gripping his gun. “You are usually the ones to cause the civilizations to fall. I’ve seen it time and again. Focusing on me will do nothing but narrow your view till someone gets you from behind.” Her eyes locked on his, that pale green seeming to speak volumes of danger. “I can promise you, it won’t be my fault you die. Just your own. Now you can drop this bullshit… stop threatening me and mine… and we can get down to business as it should be. Or you can keep this up and eventually we’ll be shaking her heads over your corpse among the others lost. Up to you.” Her tone had stayed calm, cold and collected all the way through. With those last words, she stayed quiet for a few moments. Their eyes locked for the longest time. Even Conrad stood his ground quietly.

“Right then. I’m off to work.” She turned. Agile, careless even perhaps. Full back to Conrad and moved on into the ATC. She half hoped he would take that chance to strike her. Shoot her or something. But he didn’t. She didn’t bother to look back. Instead continued through the gate and set her can of fruit down on the counter. Who knew putting him in an arm lock would have made him so damned suspicious of her? She started a fire in the stove, giving herself a warm place to retreat to during her breaks.

After some time sweeping, organizing and trying to take stock of what was open on the shelves, she felt that pain start to stab through her left temple again. It had been only a few hours since her last dose of pain pills. She did not want to take more, as they were limited and already starting to dwindle down to a dangerous few again. She chewed her lip to distract, and continued her chores for a bit longer. Till finally that stabbing pain became more frequent. She could no longer see out of her left eye, not even a little bit. As when the pain came it often came with blurred bright light that seemed to trigger a migraine sort of feel throughout her skull.

Slowly she made her way to the stove with the small fire still going from earlier, and sat down on the floor holding her head in her hands. The cool of her palm against her left eye kind of helped. She pulled out a small altoids container and flipped open the lid to reveal the joints inside.  She picked up one and closed the container holding it up to look over with her right eye. With a sigh, she popped it into her mouth and dug around for her yellow bic lighter. Once she found it, she lit the joint and took in a long deep breath holding it for a moment. Really, holding in the breath hurt just about as bad. But after a few more puffs… her body started to relax, and that throbbing jabbing pain slowly started to become dull and fade away.

For a long moment, she sat there, eventually opening her eyes a bit and staring off into the quiet, empty building. Was then she decided this would be her break. Pulling out the journal she had found and reading more of this random person’s life. It had become fun in some morbid way. To read about the person’s struggling with social standards and opinions. But that was just part of it.

Ellinor had gotten to the point in the journal, where the person started talking about their love interest. And where before she found it to be laughable and cheesy… the more she read, the more interesting it became. The feelings displayed on those pages. The fearlessness and honesty this person showed with the person they loved. Chloe came to mind… After a short thought, as drugs made it a bit thoughtless at times, she snagged a page of the journal that had room. And started to write.

`“Chloe, I feel I have to say this to you. I’ve felt this way for so long. The day we met. When I looked up into your face, while you held out your hand to me… I was in love. Day one I was in love. You became my world. Had you left me there for someone else to pick up, I would not be here now. So many times, you pushed me through barricades in life. So many times, you kept me from doing more harm than good. You showed me the meaning of loyalty and unconditional love. I never had to be anyone but myself with you! I never had to wear the mask or the glasses while you were there. You accepted me, trusted me and guarded me.”` Ellinor stopped writing for a moment. Her hand shaking as she looked at the start of the letter and tore it from the journal. Tossing it into the fire and watching it burned while her heart pounded. She took another breath of stale smoke and let it out in a long sigh…

“I’m an idiot.” She muttered. “Who is shit with words…” She tapped the pencil to the paper, then started to write again.

`“Chloe, your smile. Your eyes and laugh. All of it makes this hideous world so much brighter. More bearable to live in…”` She starts to scribble and scratch out then start again.

`“Chloe, Without you, this world might as well be dust. The lakes dried up, the animals strewn across the land in bones and the dead walking around aimlessly because they won…”` The pencil pauses again.

“DAMNIT!” Ellinor scrunched up that piece of paper as well and tossed it into the fire. Slowly she started to trace a flower in the middle of the last page. “I don’t know how to say this… what do I do?” she muttered to herself. “I don’t even know if I really feel this way.” She looked over the joint she was still smoking. “Yet…” She looked down at the flower as it became more intricate in design. Then very slowly she worked lettering in.

`“Chloe, I am in love with you. Ellinor.”`

She sat, finishing her joint staring at the page for the longest time. At least it felt long. A crack outside as Conrad took care of a few zeds heading their way, caught her attention. She sat up straight holding the journal to her chest for a moment to make sure he wasn’t coming in. When she figured the coast was clear, she looked back down at the piece of paper, slowly tore it from the journal and held it up so that the light of the fire shown through.

“This is a bad idea… even in this world.” She frowned. Tears welling up in her eyes and causing her left eye to throb slightly. “I don’t know what I am doing…” she leaned forward and tossed the paper into the fire. Then lowered her head holding the closed journal in her hands while she rested her eyes.