Fits and nightmares riddled her every eve when she closed her eyes to slumber. Her brain never truly resting. At times she wondered how she had made it thru the darkness this far. She felt it was consuming her more and more, here she thought with family the darkness would lessen. Now being close to the family brought her pain and happiness. It was a double edged sword for her. She knew who she counted as family, and who were just simply add-ons. Never hurt to have a crowd but the ones she’d hold close, the ones she’d cling to knew who they were.

The recurring nightmare was named Brian. He had been her everything for two years. Tears wet her cheeks as she woke suddenly sobbing and trembling. Her mind alive from the nightmare, her body numb from the internal pain. Instinctively she placed a hand to her stomach, the other reaching up to wipe away the tears. She looked around the dark room thankful her sister had yet to wake. She felt she could at least have a few moments to herself. She sighed inwardly and made her body relax slowly counting each breath.

Why did this bother her so much still, it had been almost a year. Nobody ever knew what had happened. She wasn’t sure if she ever could tell anyone, because if she did, the world as the Halsey’s knew it would fall apart. Patting her face dry with her blanket she whispered into the shadows “Tu es avec moi pour toujours, mon amour… pour toujours, may the angels be with you too”.  Suddenly she started to hear the house around her coming to life.. the moment to herself was now gone. . .

How much longer could she keep this secret? Would it devastate the family or bring them closer together? The fear of the unknown was what kept her silence. Her shadowed soul.