I know this isn’t the diary I used to write in, the one you left behind, but it’s a book and it’s blank so it’ll have to do. I still have yours but it’s full and I wouldn’t want to put any of this stuff in there anyway. It’s not like it’s all happy memories in there but this would… I don’t know. It just wouldn’t seem right. Do you know what I mean? Some people have called me crazy for keeping it safe for so long but I guess they just don’t understand. Nothing new there.Maybe I confuse people just as much as they confuse me. I’m not sure and maybe I’ll never really understand them; maybe I’m always just going to be a little bit weird to them and they’ll always be a little bit weird to me.

I’m still living with Mike. We’re pretty good at sticking together through everything, and there’s the twins and auntie Sin as well. He and auntie Sin have jobs over at Eights working security, and I just got a job at the general store. Maybe I can get some ammo for them or get something to trade. Dad reckons I’m the lucky one in the family. I’m not so sure I am, what with everything that’s happened, but I did find a fuel can yesterday, so maybe he’s not totally wrong. I gave it to him, of course. I don’t know what he used it for. Maybe put it in the car. That would be logical but logic often seems to be in short supply around here, just like everything else that’s useful.

I don’t know why I’m still writing this as if you can read it. Maybe you can but I’m doubting that there’s anything after death at all. I know mama was adamant that death isn’t the end and we all get to be together again some day. I’m sure grandma and grandpa are up there with you now, too, if mama was right. There’s no way they could have survived this. I just hope they didn’t get bitten. I know i shouldn’t doubt what mama always told me and it kept me strong for so long, knowing that I was going to be with you, mama and Steven some day and that, in the meantime, you were there even though I couldn’t see you. I’m just confused, dad. Why is this happening? I need answers. Real, honest answers.