Although I haven’t had any luck finding food or shelter, what I have found is that I’m not as afraid of the inevitable as I used to be. I’ve held out this long and this far, that’s something to be proud of right? If I died tonight, I’d have fewer regrets and attachments than most of the people I’ve met along the way. Over the last two years, I’ve seen people do horrific things in the name of survival.
Those were the people that either not only quickly adapted to the chaos but welcomed it or had their hand forced by the former. I could say that I don’t understand how someone can thrive off of and enjoy the misery and suffering of others, but that’d be a lie. When you strip humanity of all the pretense, we’re not only just animals but the worst ones of all. I could write entire papers on the subject, in fact, I have. In the early days, it used to console me how much I knew about human nature. Now? Now it just feeds my nightmares and paranoia. Oh well, so much for using my degrees to help people.
Anyway, there’s finally a break in the snow so I should get back to walking.
(Pardon the date, the site was down all day yesterday.)
5
