Taking care of business… that’s what I decided to do.  I have some excellent folks working for me as of late, which seemed like all the more reason for me to stay behind.  That and, I’ve made some friends.  Finally, honest to goodness legit feeling friends.  I’m not sure where Sara has gone off to, but in her absence this gal Brooke from Dane’s place has started coming around a lot.

She was pretty much the person talking the most sense.  I was all worried that if I didn’t go on the boat ride to check shit out, that I’d seem like a punk.  Like I wasn’t capable of holding up my own.  But you know, she made some valid points.  One… I’m pregnant.  I mean every single time I write that down to paper, it becomes even more real.

I can no longer just run off on a whim to check shit out without a thought in the world.  I’m clumsy all the time, always doing stupid shit and hurting myself.  I’m hungry like crazy… feeling needy.

Brooke was right though, the boat was no place for me.  Not this far along.  So I left the fish I’d loaded onto the mother fucker… figured it was the least I could do, since I’d said I would, then I just didn’t bother to show up.  I doubt anyone noticed my absence with all the chaos of getting that thing moving.

Besides… it never did quite sit right with me, the idea of taking a raft with paddles, when the ATC has a perfectly good Tugger sitting right at the dock.  This gal will go in style if she goes at all.

Okay and so maybe there was another influence on my decision to not go too.  Maybe it’s okay to be a little selfish, and actually do something for myself.

But I also asked a guy I met out.  I mean I actually asked him out… like… to my place for grilled cheese sammiches.  The bread was a little chewy, and the cheese came from a can but god.

When I asked him to stay the night too, and he did… the boat and all that stuff just sorta slipped my mind.

It’s not like anyone will ever really know what happened.  Cake missed the boat ride because she XXX.  I feel so silly… I mean not silly like a clown but.. Silly like, I’m just here writing all of this while he’s sleeping in MY bed.  It’s kind of nice really.  Having someone there, a guy… Zeke.  Though I probably shouldn’t get used to it, I guess just this once I can allow myself a morning of feeling human.

Feeling something.