Today was the pits. Like, really fucking bad. It started out ok, but like most bad days it quickly turned to shit. I had my first real shower in a while, it was nice. But that Dollhouse place is busy, and I didn’t like being so exposed. Whatever, beggars can’t be choosers and they got the only warm shower in town apparently. I managed to knock most the grease off of me.

There was a guy there, a guy I thought I remembered from my early days. I met him at the shop that sells guns, he knew I didn’t have any cash but he ran through all the offerings and told me what I needed to get anyways. He was gruff, but polite and willing to help. Not bad looking either. So when I saw him again I wanted to say something, but he seemed busy and different somehow. So I waited to say something to him ’til I saw him again later at the diner. Big mistake. It wasn’t him, it was his brother. Twin brother obviously.

Apparently the guy who helped me out all those weeks ago is gone. Someone killed him. I tried to get the details, call it morbid curiosity. But it’s not often you hear of someone dying of anything other than having their face eaten off these days, at least not often for me. But maybe living in a community like this is different. Which is something I definitely learned today. I guess I pushed too many buttons with my questions, cause this other guy started getting real nasty with me. And what do I do when someone gets mean, I mouth off of course. It’s been known to get me into some trouble before, but never anything like this. It didn’t take long before I pushed too hard and he was on me like a wild dog, practically ripping my hair out of my scalp and breathing down my face. He thought I knew something!

I don’t really want to go into the details of what happened next, I don’t want to relive that. I’d been planning for a while to save up for a gun so I don’t have to buy all my meals, but now it looks like it’s time to push up my purchase. I’ve never shot a gun before, but I guess three years into the world going to hell is as good a time as any to start. Maybe I’ll ask Ein if he can show me a thing or two. I don’t know the guy too well, but he’s really the only guy around here who’s been nice to me.

I really like it at the Eights. I feel safe there. Even when some gorilla meat head tried to hassle me there was someone to step in and run him off. Today after the ordeal with the guy from the Doll House I decided I’d try some pot for the first time. It was ok, but I was so tired and just… confused. I couldn’t think of anything to do but make my way to the Eights. I needed to be somewhere safe, not just cause I was stoned out of my gourd but because…. I wasn’t safe anymore, my life had been threatened. I’m really glad I headed over there, the same girls who chased off the goon let me hang with them while I came down, and even let me nap on their couch. I don’t think I’ll be getting high again anytime soon, I got absolutely no work done today. And that’s just not me.

Anyways, I’m sleeping outdoors tonight. I don’t wanna go back the Eights and be a bother anymore. I haven’t been officially invited to stay there so I always have to ask to be let in. Feels like asking for charity, not my bag. And to top a bad day off I think I ate something bad while I was stoned, I can’t get my stomach to settle down. Hope it’s gone by morning, whatever it is.