Just a casual breakdown outside of Sam n’ Ella’s

May 24, 2017.

I’ve stopped looking for them. But they’re still playing hide and seek… I can’t keep looking for them anymore. The disappointment is too much at this point. Brett. Lina. If you’re reading this I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t keep searching and looking for you. I love you both so much, but I have given up hope. You’re probably dead. I’m sorry I didn’t come back soon enough and I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.

On a better note, I’m back in Arklay. I went all the way down to Mexico looking for them. I figured maybe it was safer and they fled down there. I got help from Ella and Leon from outside of Arklay… Ella didn’t make it on the way back. Her grandma hung herself in the middle of the night when we came home without her. I’ve had to bury too many friends. Now her little boy is gonna grow up without a mother. Because of me. And it was all for nothing in the end. Leon hates me, rightfully. I took his wife from him. I’ll never forgive myself. Ever. That was a few months ago. I came back two days ago. Everything is the same… but it’s all different. It’s not my Arklay. New owner of Coach’s. New owner of The Dollhouse. New owner of the Eights. Everyone I knew and loved and cared for is gone. Well not everyone. My old neighbor, the cute ginger guy named Ben, he’s STILL here. I ran into him in the hospital when I wanted to go get my blood tested. Nobody was there who could help me though. I tried flirting with him a bit, but I don’t think he was too interested and I know when to take a hint so I’m probably just gonna lay off. It’s whatever though, I just got back and right now the most important thing I need to focus on is settling in and getting to know everyone ALL OVER again, finding a place to stay, and making sure I have enough supplies. Talking to cute men isn’t exactly at the top of my list, but to be fair it never really was and probably never will be again, which I’m fine with. After Brett that shit flew out the window. Every guy I’ve liked lately ends up dead or missing so it’s probably not a good idea to get involved with someone that way again. I snuck into the Dollhouse and got a bath. I still have my old key. That place is empty. Looks abandoned. I guess Missy ran out too. Ben told me she and her man ditched town with her baby to, and I quote, “find greener pastures”. I hope they found ’em. They deserve it. Still don’t know if having a baby in this day and age is safe but it’s their decision. Anyways, back to the bath. Shit was orgasmic. Well to be fair I DID finger myself silly in there. I haven’t had a proper bath in AGES. I know it sounds disgusting but I didn’t really wanna stop in the middle of a horde of deadheads and bathe myself. I’ll take survival over hygiene any day. Probably just gonna end this here, but I’m grateful to be back in Arklay. I’ve missed you.

Love, Jasmine