I am still piecing together what happened to me, how I ended up with the Faith of the After Days I can remember little of just that a couple of their crusaders found me, helped me and saved my life, I’m not religious but I am very very thankful to whatever deity it is they worship for his or her intervention.

While I laying there delirious from fever, pain and medication I had dreams of memories from my past, of my past being replayed out before me.  Memories of my time in the army, in the police, in New York, my mind raced to hold on to those memories, those reminders of what the world was like before the outbreak, before everything turned to shit, before… they were all gone, family, friends, colleagues.  I feel alone in this world, everyone I knew is seemingly dead apart from two people I absolutely despise and now I find it hard to be comfortable with places, with people, you can’t miss a friendship you never had when it is eventually taken from you by a walker or some drugged up raider scum bag.

Even since then I have had dreams, nightmares of being captured by raiders, of being tortured and forced to give up information about this island, about it’s people, how it is governed.  My body is beaten and bloodied and I wish for death and when it comes I wake up screaming drenched in sweat glad to be holed up in one of the watchtowers way from where anyone can see or her.

I’ve tried smoking cannabis, even taking what cocaine I found but nothing seems to block them out, where as when I was sure I was dying I dreamt only of the things that made me happy I was happy, maybe feeling death close in put me at peace maybe I would have been better if I’d never been found, if I’d have lay their in a pool of my own blood and slowly bled to death.  No… I can’t think that that, I mustn’t think …

I survived for a reason, for a purpose, maybe the nightmares are to remind me of it, to remind me that my job is not done that I have to do right by those that have done right by me and try to help the people of Arklay or further afield by using my skills to help others, only time will tell I guess.