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I hate Christmas, I really do… Everybody pretending everything’s like totally normal when it soo isn’t. I think it was having to do the tree thing for the caff. After that, I kinda had to go awol, coz I guess it totally pressed all the wrong buttons. I couldn’t pretend any more, be all like chirpy and cheerful with everyone, not when I was being like always reminded about Mum and Dad… and Katie. Oh… gonna cry again… deep breath and gather! So like I said, had to go awol. Christmas was kinda okay last year I guess, when Senpai was there, he helped, but now he’s gone too, and even with all these people here, I felt even more alone, so yeah, like I said, had to go awol.

But that’s over now, and kinda the sweetest thing, when I came back, Ashes was like totally cool about it and pretty much the first thing she asked me to do was take the tree down, which was like super sweet really. She’s like the best, even if she doesn’t know it. Destroying that tree and turning it into firewood…. soo sweet!

So yeah, slipping back into stuff, trying to work out what’s happened, if like anything’s happened while I was awol. So I even had some tins left over from my stash and I took then to the emergency hospital thingie place and was leaving them in the donations box, when I saw that someone had been like leaving actual rot meat there! I mean, like wtf? Seriously? Why would anyone do that? That’s just like weird and mean too, dunno, maybe they think it’s funny… Weirdos.