Arklay. The town that had seared my soul. Turned me about. Took me to some very dark places.

Dearest, kindest Arklay. I’m back, you motherfucker.

It wasn’t that I had to leave. It was more like open flight. Away from the drugs, the dark and intense world of BSDM. Away from the desire to start killing innocents, for the sheer pleasure of it.

It all started simple enough. I loved the infected. Their mannerisms, their style, their very existence became a fascination. Over time, I became dangerous, perhaps psychotic or sociopathic, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t care. Not long after that came dark pleasure and pain. Not long after that I felt out of control. Something broke inside me.

Yes. I had to clear my head. My body. My soul. I stood shivering in a 2-day rainstorm on the mainland. It was glorious, and I felt a twinge of sadness as the clouds parted and rays of sunlight struck me.

I moved on. I kept on moving on from one cleansing experience to another, avoiding the infected, the living, free of it all.

It took weeks! I traveled in a rambling, circuitous route with little awareness of where I was going. Day by day though, I was liberated from what I had become. The darkness slowly leached from my soul. I never felt I was getting brighter, more spiritual. It felt more like finding home again.

Towards the end of my journey I had a standoff with a single huge grey wolf. I moved fluidly to a kneeling, then sitting position, exposing myself to incredible danger I guess, but I wasn’t afraid. I just wanted to be there, in that moment. I wanted the wolf to just be there, in that moment. Minutes passed that seemed like hours, but the wolf finally ambled on, crossing within a dozen feet of me. It turned to give me one last look and was gone.

Bam! Just like that, my consciousness returned. Free. Centered. Grounded. I got my bearings and pulled myself together. Recognizing that I was only a two day walk from Arklay, I returned.

Instantly familiar yet alien. I carefully looked about for my former crew. Nada. Gone. I felt relieved. I desired no prompting to return to the psychosis, the delusions, the infliction of pain and the horror I had become.

I’ve already made some new friends, and am constantly in motion, meeting new people, finding new purpose, and cutting small deals here and there.

Yea, dearest Arklay, I’m back, old friend. I was almost destroyed in your loving care previously but I have found my center. You will not take me again.

I spent the afternoon near town center, just taking it all in, feeling extremely liberated.

I heard a low growl and moved to the corner, quietly. An infected shuffled slowly by, not sensing me or simply not interested. It felt like my confrontation with the wolf. I watched it until in disappeared into the nearby forest.

I found it fascinating.