Pages before the entries below start with messy scribbles that grow more schooled over time. The first few pages are babbles of a seven year old about her days at school and friends there. After a gap of a few months, most records after that are lists of meds taken and summary of dreams. In the midst of it all, some pages are simply full of doodles birthed out of a bored psyche.

The book looks weathered with a simple red binding. The word ‘Diary’ on its cover had been once circled with a heart but it has been later on penned out in angry, black slashes. Penmanship of oldest years wrote ‘Meds’, as if to further dissociate herself from the child that once had drawn such a thing.

The last entry, before those new ones, is from five years ago, when Esmeralda was nineteen.

Date XX/XX/XX ((5 days before the Outbreak))

I promised myself that I would write in this only when it finally came true.
People are getting sick. Antonio went to the emergencies yesterday. Juan asked me if he could leave the crew and go home for a few days to his family.

They all can feel something is happening. They are scared.
It’s coming this time, it really is.

Date XX/XX/XX ((1 day before the Outbreak))

I keep hearing stories. People think I’ll pay them for the info, thinking I can make something out of it. They don’t realize yet.

He said I was the one rotten inside that all those things were in my head. That I needed to keep them all there. I told him. I told them. No one believed me.

I think tomorrow I will go home. I want to see HIM.
Hopefully everyone will be able to see HIM too now.

Date XX/XX/XX  ((Day of the Outbreak – writing is shaky and barely readable))

I killed HIM!
I killed HIM!!
I KILLED HIM!

Date XX/XX/XX ((3 days after the Outbreak))

I killed her too. I’ll never have to look into her eyes again. I wanted to take them but instead I took HIS hand.
HIS HAND!
When I came back no one said anything. I don’t know if they didn’t notice or if they didn’t want to ask.
I feel so happy. None of the meds he gave me could ever have given me this feeling.

I wonder if he knew I would feel this way.

Everyone could see who he really was now.
The rot was visible.

Date XX/XX/XX ((4 days after the Outbreak))

I took Caiden with me. I almost wanted to leave him with them. All those years, he did not see. Behind his screens and his games, he did not see. Until the end, even with them rotting in front of him, he did not see.

Perhaps, now, I can show him.

((The ink of the pen looks of a slightly different tint, as if some time had passed before the next words were written))

Dom and Emmy are with us as well. They came looking for Caiden.
Emmy is exactly like I pictured her. I want to know everything about her.

Dom is the same.
He can never change.
I don’t think he can rot.

Date XX/XX/XX  ((5 days after the Outbreak – Writing is shaky again))

People can’t see. You keep the rot inside.
Only when it’s all over, when they welcome you.
I will be the last.

Date XX/XX/XX  ((7 days after the Outbreak))

Some days I manage to forget, I don’t even know if it’s here or not.
We took a new person in, Mollie. I told her to come with us.
I hope I wanted to help her.

Date XX/XX/XX ((13 days after the Outbreak))

I think I am scared.

((Again the ink would have looked it had time to dry before the next words))

I lost them.
I don’t want to write this.

Date XX/XX/XX ((14 days after the Outbreak))

I don’t know what else to do. I have to write something, if only to help with the boredom.
I didn't think you could be bored and scared at the same time.
Scared. I spent years waiting. Spent years telling people about it. I was ready.
But it was different in my head. I only saw his rot finally come out. I thought of the rest without really thinking of it.

I didn't have time to be scared until now. Keep us alive, until we are the last ones.

They looked so beautiful, just like I pictured them. One by one. It was easy.
But in the port… There were so many. Hungry. I can still smell them on my skin. And I got scared. I ran for the nearest boat. I let myself be taken by the crowd. I never looked back. I don’t know if they were here or if they stayed there. I don’t know anything.

I have been waiting but I don’t know why. I won’t have to take them in the end that way. It will be easier.

And yet I can’t seem to leave those fucking docks.

Date XX/XX/XX ((15 days after the Outbreak))

I met someone today.
I met a lot of people before. She had tattoos and I almost wanted to call one of the boys to show her our shit. But that’s not our world anymore.
She had a gun, and I wanted it. I almost took it. I have to survive, until the end. And to do that I have to keep it hidden.
I told her I would see her around.

Date XX/XX/XX ((18 days after the Outbreak))

I am running out of food and the docks are empty. Too many people go through them, nothing really lasts. If this keeps up I will have to go into the city.
I have not gone there since I arrived; I have not seen one of the rottens.
But perhaps they are all there already.

Date XX/XX/XX  ((22 days after the Outbreak – The pages looks slightly undulated from water))

I had to leave.
I was watching her sleep, waiting to see if the rot would appear. I think the blade was clean. I really think it was. But watching her sleep, with all those people around, those strangers.
I was scared and with the rain… It had felt right then.
I just felt like I could not breathe. I wanted to stay and watch her and yet I ran.

I am in the woods now. I think I will hunt tomorrow.

Date XX/XX/XX ((25 days after the Outbreak))

I hunted. I have food. I feel better.
I should go back soon. Look for them and understand this place.

I think I heard one of them last night.